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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944568">you are my world</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestfloor/pseuds/forestfloor'>forestfloor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:14:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestfloor/pseuds/forestfloor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Charity finds Vanessa in their bed and holds her tight.<br/>After today's episode (28 / 02 / 2020).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you are my world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I saw someone on Twitter who asked for a bit about Charity holding Vanessa after today's episode. I know I'm not really a good writer and this isn't much, but I hope someone likes it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charity walks into their bedroom as quietly as she can and leans against the closed door, trying to decide whether to lie down next to Vanessa and hold her tight or give her some space. The decision is taken away from her when Vanessa's voice fills the silence.<br/>
<br/>
"I'm awake." <br/>
<br/>
It's barely a whisper. She's facing the wall, her hair all tangled up from twisting and turning. Charity can see the wet marks on her own pillow, all crumpled up behind Vanessa. Like she had been holding on to it before Charity came in, burying her head into it to tune out the rest of the world. She recognises the impulse. If only it worked to tune out your own thoughts, swirling around and refusing to budge when all you want to do is forget for a moment. <br/>
<br/>
Charity steps towards the bed, carefully. As if Vanessa is breakable all of a sudden and she hates that her mind has thrown every possible doom scenario at her that it could come up with. That it made her realise Vanessa is vulnerable too, not the invincible woman she always seems to be. And now they know it's stage three. It hasn't really settled those worries, it made them louder if anything. But Vanessa is strong, Chas was right about that. Even though she didn't know that it wasn't just the kidnapping. It wasn't just being held captive by a deluded murderer for nearly a fortnight. That she is actually really ill and that there is nothing Charity can do to take it away. Charity likes a challenge, but only when she's in control. And she can't help but feel powerless now, useless when it's Vanessa's own body that had betrayed her instead of a person she could smack in the head with a metal pipe. Or someone she can drive away with just her acid tongue. <br/>
<br/>
She sits down on her own side of the bed and traces her thumb over Vanessa's hip. Relieve washes over her when she doesn't flinch away from her touch again. She moves her hand upwards and combs her fingers through Vanessa's hair, carefully removing the tangles. It's soothing, to touch her again, after all these nights that she was in this bed alone. After spending Vanessa's first night back on the couch, too afraid she was going to break out in tears in the middle of the night. She couldn't do that to Vanessa, not when she is still trying to process all of this herself. This is so not about her and Charity knows it, but it also is, a bit. Because Vanessa needs her now more than ever, she had said so herself. And she wants to be there for Vanessa, needs to, because she can't lose her. Not now, not when she finally found the life she had been longing for, the woman she had needed all those years without even knowing. She can't lose her when their live together is just starting. <br/>
<br/>
She lies down properly and the exhaustion hits her head on. Everything that happened the past few days bears heavy on her mind and her eyelids feel too heavy to hold up a second longer. She closes her eyes and moves on her side, finding Vanessa on muscle memory and pulling her close, her face burried in Vanessa's hair. The smell of her like home, more soothing than the drink she had in the backroom of the Woolpack and definitely better than the uncomfortable couch she had spent last night on.<br/>
<br/>
She can feel Vanessa move in her arms after a minute and she opens her eyes, afraid that she's going to repay the favour and move to the couch like Charity had done last night. But Vanessa just turns around and presses her face against Charity's chest. She holds Vanessa tighter when she feels tears staining her shirt, whispers softly when she feels Vanessa's body shudder in her arms, unable to contain her tears now she is in the safety of Charity's arms. <br/>
<br/>
Vanessa had told her what their future would look like, her back turned, unable to look her in the eyes. And she had been relieved that she was able to hide as well, process it all without having to remain strong for Vanessa's sake. It had almost seemed like a challenge, as if Vanessa was wondering whether Charity would shy away from it all if she knew about the hard truth. The thinned hair, pallid skin, the bag hanging from her stomach. <br/>
<br/>
It feels unfair that all this hardship seems to fall on their shoulders all at once. That they should have been to Paris as a married couple. Happy. But instead their world is collapsing and she can't stop it in its tracks, can't keep the pain at bay, when it's already inside Vanessa. Has been growing and spreading when she thought she had swanned off to Paris with Johnny.<br/>
<br/>
"I love you so much," she whispers, although she isn't sure Vanessa can hear her right now. Tears track down her cheeks and into Vanessa's hair when she puts her lips against the top of her head.<br/>
<br/>
She moves back a bit to press their foreheads together. She knows she needs to be there for Vanessa, even though it seems like one of the scariest things she has ever had to do. <br/>
<br/>
Vanessa's eyes are closed, but she is crying still. Her body shaking in her arms, thinner than before. She presses her hand against Vanessa's cheek, brushing away the hairs that are stuck to her temple. <br/>
<br/>
"We'll get through this together," she whispers. God, she hopes they can.</p>
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